Abstinence-shaming

The number of likes correlates with the person's value and popularity.

The number of likes correlates with the person’s value and popularity.

While I’m on the topic of Yik Yak (see last post), let me share with you what happened last night.

Before I go on, let me explain something. When looking at posts and comments, you can vote them up or down. If a comment or post on YikYak has a certain number of down votes, it is automatically deleted.

Last night, I posted about how excited I was to see my boyfriend because I haven’t seen him in a month. (Side note: he’ll be here in two hours!) Someone commented about us having sex, and I said, “That awkward moment when we aren’t sexually active.” Multiple people proceeded to ask me what my name was and if I lived in Baswell. Someone thought it would be alright to tell me that today we would change our minds. I replied, “Why do you need to know my name? It’s Claudia and I live in Nutt. I am not ashamed that I am not going to have sex until I’m married.” Within 5 minutes, my comment had so many down votes that it was deleted.

This stirred up a huge debate in my mind. Why is abstinence such an awful thing? I’ve never cared that the majority of the world has one night stands and casual sex. It’s their life, their choices. I’m sure if I didn’t have the beliefs that I do, I would be the exact same way. And here’s the deal. It’s not like I don’t WANT to. I do. But I know it complicates things, especially when I’m in a long distance relationship. I’m not going to do anything that’ll risk the relationship. And because we plan to spend the rest of our lives together I figure we’ll have 50+ years to enjoy each other, so I don’t need to rush into it now. I’m not ready, I know that much. And there is nothing wrong with that. There’s so much pressure on kids my age, and younger, to have sex. I think it’s ridiculous! I still feel like most people my age aren’t mature enough for it.

But I am a firm believer in the saying “to each their own”. I can’t judge someone for their decisions because I know how much people judge me for my own. I don’t make sense to them either.

I could write an essay over this, but I’ll leave one question for you: why do we as a society put so much value in our sexual status?

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About chall29

Photographer from Northwest Arkansas pursuing degrees in Print Journalism and Speech Communication at Arkansas Tech University.
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